Day 1....so why am I here?

So, why am I here then? Not in the Biblical sense of course, but why have I suddenly decided to write a blog? Well, back in August, I landed a couple of opportunities to ship the family out to New Zealand. Not on their own you understand, I'd be going with them.....so it seemed like a good idea to tell them.

They all took it fairly well, although the 4 year old is convinced it's a holiday. Technically, I suppose she's right, and who am I to mess with the mind of a four year old? Mind you, I'm not sure she can come to grips with why strangers are tramping around the house from time to time, looking in her bedroom.

Anyway, things have moved on apace now and we are off in January. It therefore seemed a good idea to start documenting the trials and tribulations that would invariably come along as we go through the process - selling the house, shipping our possession, making a 27 hour plane journey, turning up in a new country on the other side of the world, with no home, no car and not a lot else.......

So I guess the starting point is selling the house - what a nightmare that is turning into. We turned up this estate agent who offered what seemed to be a good proposition - a new way of selling houses, based predominantly on using the main property portals on the internet. For some reason, our property still isn't listed on the internet, some three days after it should be, but that's just a minor distraction I'm sure..

I'm being told not to worry, because we have a 'For Sale' sign up in the garden.....but I'm not sure I can get my head around that concept - we live in a cul-de-sac where the only passing traffic is a mixture of kids on skateboards and geriatrics out perambulating to make sure their plastic hips don't seize up. Obviously we get a few more people going past at weekends, but I'm not sure your average lager-bloated, pill popping chav is going to take much interest other than to sling his ale can in the garden and spit onto the kerbside. (Not that it's not a nice area - if any of you are interested in a four bedroomed, semi detached, it's a lovely area!)

Anyway, Mrs Chipshaker tells me I have to look on the bright side, because it will all come good in the end. So on that note, I was heartened to see that my 10 year old had been doing the homework I set him, and had memorised the first four lines of the Ka Mate Haka, complete with rather dubious movements and facial expressions (although I'm puzzled as to why he seems obsessed with the bit where you pass your hand backwards and forwards in front of your groin). He seems to be getting quite good at it too. He gave his four year old sister a demonstration yesterday and managed to get her to run away in floods of tears after one particularly effective rictus. Funny though, I never realised farting was an integral part of the performance......

Ka mate! Ka mate!